Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Truth

So, here goes, a difficult undertaking at best. Especially since I am not entirely certain what truth I really wish to provide. Let's try this and see where it gets me.

I am older than I once was, which is kind of a duh thing to say, but more true than age. I lived in naivety for many years, and still to some degree I do, but less now. I took multiple year jumps during this life in maturation that should have come a bit more naturally, but didn't due to my ignorance of life, and ultimately my ignoring of it as well. Hrm, perhaps a new tack, or new title? This just isn't here right now. Thought it was, but maybe I was wrong. I don't feel like getting this dark at the moment, feeling a bit lighter than this. Give me a sec...

So I guess I want to write about some of my truths, some of the things that are really a part of who I am, but I think those things are hiding themselves from public view at the moment. They won't come out onto the page, so I shall have to come back to htis idea again later. We'll see. Till then, I will have to try and write some other stuff. Maybe I just need a kick from somewhere. That is not an invitation, by the way. At least not a literal one in any event. Thank you, goodnight.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I've just seen a face

"I can see you there, waiting, will you come to me? Will you join me on this voyage?" He asks in his head, too afraid to ask her directly, but knowing that it all comes to this. His entire being is caught up in her, has been since the day they met. He knows that for certain, now is his time. Not later, not before, but now. As much as he thought that he had missed his opportunities in the past, suddenly the realization of just how important this is. Everything has led to this point, and he knows it. He is not so afraid of trying, because after everything that he has endured, trials and pitfalls, successes and failures, he will not let this pass him by.
What he is afraid of is somehow managing to completely screw this up. There have been chances in his past that were lost because of his shortcomings, his lack of confidence and dedication, but not this time. Still lacking for some amount of confidence, his dedication cannot be questioned. He knew it the moment he met her, even started to tell those closest to him that she would be the one, less than a day from that first meeting. So here goes.
"Hi. How are you? I know that we haven't known each other long, just a month in fact, but there is something I need to tell you. I knew from the moment that I met you that something very important, very special was happening. I didn't know exactly what at that moment, but hours later, I knew. I knew you would be the one person in this life that I want to wake up next to every morning, kiss goodnight before falling asleep, and travel this world to find our destiny together. I know that it probably seems crazy fast to be saying this, but as far as I am concerned, it would be crazy for me to not tell you how I feel. I was put here, I was moved along this path in life for this moment, this purpose, this chance. I am here now because I can not and will not allow this chance to pass me by.
Too many times in my life I have failed to put myself out there, give myself that chance at happiness, and I always thought it was a great fault of mine that kept me from reaching this point. But now, I think all this time spent wondering, spent trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and how I could fix it, was actually just preparation for right now. I wasn't missing the opportunities from the past, simply using them to be ready for this moment. I am giving myself over completely to this moment, beyond any shadow of a doubt. My life has led me here, to you, and now I pray that I have not acted rashly, or too prematurely. I am finally my own person, with my own thoughts, beliefs, and abilities, not based on anyone else. I have my own dreams forming in my head, and have a belief that not only is there a place for me somewhere in this world, but that the place is anywhere you are too. I hope to see a great deal of this planet with you, find a place to truly call home for the rest of our lives, and fill them with ultimate joy and happiness. The only question, will you join me?"