It has been kind of a long year. I've gotten a new job, which I love. I have left that valley life that I actually enjoyed to return home to a life that I enjoy more. I have (mostly) given up trying to be something I'm not. I still have my moments, but hey, I'm working on it, so give me a break. Actually coming to the realization that I'm depressed has actually made it easier to deal with. Or maybe made it easier to let go of the things that weren't doing anything but make me more depressed. Though I don't really want to let go, I never do, but I know I have to. So I'm working on that too.
It's the letting go of the good feelings that's the hard part. So many good memories that are associated with some not so good ones, but to let the past go and get happier, I have to let them be memories. I can't keep trying to relive the great times. They're gone, at least with certain people. I still maintain that no one knows what the future will hold, but hoping for some things is just downright destructive. So I am facing the parts of myself that I have turned away from, in an effort to make everything else a little bit easier.
I have also decided that I am going to write my book already. Maybe not the one I was going to write a year ago, but something a bit more useful for this age. We'll see. Time to get out of my fantastical head and into the present. Time to open my eyes.
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